Jungle Gem
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Raised by the Guardians of the forest; Steven has been raised in the jungle his whole life...And now he faces his greatest challenge ever! "What is 'mating? And why dose it involve bees? Doesn't that hurt?" Asks Steven confused... Inspired by "Coyoteprime1100"
1. Chapter 1

**Jungle Gem**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Greg Universe was in a panic! Bandits had attacked their camp! They were killing everyone! He ran through the Jungle, desperately holding onto the Bundle that was his new-born son Steven.

He hears the bandits coming closer! No matter what happened to him, he had to protect Steven!

Quickly deciding that a slim chance of survival was better than none. He quickly puts the bundle on the river, gives a quick prayer, and lets Steven float down it.

Greg brushes away a tear and then runs to draw the bandits away...

…...

Steven yawned as he crawled out of the bundle. His stomach grumbled, so he sniffed the air. He smells something sweet, crawls to it, and latches on.

Rose Quartz; White Wolf Mother and mystic guardian of the jungle...wakes up to find a little man-cub suckling on her breast.

She giggles. "My, this man cub eats like a water buffalo"! She then puts a paw around him, pulls him close, and nuzzles him affectionately. Steven can't help but giggle back...

...12 years later...

Connie Maheswaran was washing clothes in the waterfall. She groaned to herself. _Why did I have to pick the short straw? And why do we have to go to the edge of the jungle to wash our clothes? I mean, I know the immunization center was important...but did we seriously not have enough money left over to build a little well in the middle of our safe little village? I mean if you think about it-_

Her thoughts screeched to a halt as she turned around and found herself staring at a wild-boy wearing nothing but a loincloth.

The boy smiled at her. "Hi! My name is Steven! Your cute! Would you like to be my mate?" He asked innocently with a goofy smile.

Now this would be an awkward question to ask in any circumstance...But this instance was particularly awkward...

For you see aside from being the place where the village washes clothes...The waterfall was also their drinking water...and bath water.

And Connie, wanting to get the whole thing over with so she could get back to safety of her village quicker...had decided to multitask...

A mortified Connie covered her naked body and screamed...Which unfortunately, was a very dumb thing to do so close to a jungle.

 **ROAR!**

Recognizing Jasper's roar anywhere, Steven quickly grabbed Connie and ran. Connie was about to fight free...until she saw the giant, orange lion coming after them...Suddenly a wild-boy didn't seem too bad...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Inspired by** **Coyoteprime1100**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Jungle Gem

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

AN: This chapter is a gift to MysterD47 for doing my challenge.

...

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU BRAT!"

Screamed Jasper as she chased after the children! "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Screamed Connie, she then turns to the surprisingly calm Steven. "Why aren't you screaming?!" She demanded.

Steven shrugged. "I find that it doesn't really help, just hurts the throat. Steven then gets an idea, he quickly grabs Connie and soars through the sky!

"YOU CAN FLY!?" Shouts a surprised Connie. "Nope! Just jump good!" Shouts Steven happily as he lands on top of a tall tree-

 **CRASH!**

Which Jasper begins to ram. "I'm killing you Steven! Even if it kills me, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!"

Connie and Steven hold on for dear life as the tree shakes. "Why is she so mad at you!?" Shouts Connie.

Steven flustered. "Weeeelll..."

...several years ago...

Steven groans, why did he accept that water drinking dare from Amethyst? Making sure he was far away from the drinking water...he urinates on a bush-

GAH! PTOOIE!

-or at least...what he thought was a bush...

Fortunately Jasper was too busy washing out her mouth to catch Steven...

...

Connie turned green and vomited...right over Jasper-

 **ROAR!**

...This did not improve her mood-

 **CRACK!**

The tree falling over didn't improve the children's mood either...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
